Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Snail Racing

It's amazing how well snails brush up with a good coat of Acrylic.

As some of you know, over the last year I've developed a bit of a passion for gardening and growing veggies in the back garden (very rock n' roll, I know). This Sunday, a few friends came round to help SJ, Nat and I take control of our garden once again. Simeon got pretty hack-happy with the saw cutting back our hedges and Becci did her bit with the unglamorous job of weeding. Thanks guys. What a great way to spend an afternoon. Really appreciated your help!

As the day unfolded we found ourselves with a lot of snails collected to dispose of somewhere humane but far away from our new seedlings. We must have collected about 30 altogether. Funny little things snails, aren't they? Never really seem phased by anything or particularly stressed out by the rigorous lifestyle of London.

We thought it might be fun to have a race. Simeon picked his favourite looking ones and I chose mine. Difficult to really know what to look for in a racing snail. I went for stealth and strength. The race began and we waited... and waited... then cooked our tea... waited some more... then finally we had a nail biting finish with Simeon's prize mollusk just winning by a nose. It was all very exciting.

So exciting, in fact, we decided to honour the winning snail with a nice lick of paint (see pictured Sammy 1 in all his victorious glory)

Then we thought, why stop at just one? There wasn't much else on that evening so we thought we'd just paint them all... and don't they look splendid? We're now taking commissions for YOUR snails. Come on people. Give them a whole new lease of life. Snails designs come in three primary colours and we offer a cruelty-free-guarantee with the kind of paint we use... but at this stage we have to admit we're not sure as to whether the new look makes them more visible to predators. That would be your guilt to bear.

Snail Painting. Yeah. Give it a go. You'll love it!

By the way, have you ever noticed how the word 'snail' sounds very much like the German word for 'hurry'?


-bb- said...

I'm phoning RSCPA...

Man, I can't believe I left before all that - doh! You crazy kids!

Andy said...

snail and schnell only sound alike when you pronounce schnell with no Geman accent at all or you pronounce snail with a very heavy west coast Scottish accent.

Nathan said...

That is shocking! What a brilliant idea! Cruel but fantastic. Ally, you are officially an evil genius. Mwa ha ha ha ha!

Ally G said...

OK OK I promise the paint was poison free... well.. i think it was anyway. thanks for your comments and, erm, concern.

Andy, you've got me in one. My German accent was never that strong really. Mostly developed from watching Die Hard films. Good to hear from you all. Isn't blogging great?!

knnuki said...

No. Way. Dude. It was good to see you today, friend. But you should know you're a sick man.